Recent Study: People Only Read Headlines, Not Whole Story

Recent Study: People Only Read Headlines, Not Whole Story

CHICAGO, Ill. — A recent study conducted by researchers at the University of Minnesota claims that a majority of people do not read past the headline of a news story. There are 390 billion trees in the Amazon Rainforest. The thing about trees is that they are green. Green is also the color of money but money doesn’t grow on trees, said Dad as he tied a tie.

According to sources, my translucent purple jelly sandals squished ski squalls by the knee store. If effervescent mermaids are real, then iridescent unicorn horns float Luke Skywalker murky swamp yoga practice Wednesdays from 8-10pm. Nemesis barged into opulent cubicle dictating nomad’s land for sale – like moldy steak! Adding frequent flyer smiles, mowing grass lawn pfft pfft pfft, hacksaws ain’t jester fore ukulele bassists no how. Ripple serendipity.

Phat pirates swashbuckling gnat dreadlocks, mellifluous iron keys, pink crunchy satin underpants as a head umbrella. Pointy glass snow sharp ouch my eye my eye it poked my eye please help red blood on new crispy Timberwolves jersey ugh why!? Pineapple counterfeit bananas admire Dr. Pepper is sumptuous delicious; perfunctory spelunking catamaran Nancy Drew Tropicana sandwich bungalow zero gravity.

Soleil prancing pas de bourree, brie bright monarch boob butt royal fart face cerulean coeur de la mer on vacation. Maple moon tag floral stench sticky sherbert windbreaker Krabby Patties do you have a minute for gay rights? Femur lemur misdemeanor. Yoyo quiche camel pinball booger glow peach knickers scuba microphone. However, protein photons gym locker cream cheese starfish balcony swing sand dune quaint salt market stingray lipstick. Furtive glamour fetching elixir.

In conclusion, if you can say it in five words, why on earth would you use more?