hi, i’m 89 years old, and as of now i am still alive. my mind is sharp as ever. and i can’t use it because i lay here on the floor of the bathroom where i fell 3 days ago. i’ve been staying hydrated by scooping water out of the toilet and drinking it. i tried calling for help, but i live alone in a large house and i’m soft spoken to begin with. i know that no one is coming, and that’s okay.
for christmas, my grandkid got me an ipod and my other grandkid got me some speakers. i put on the who’s “won’t get fooled again” to serenade me while i took an old person shit (old folks know what i’m talkin bout!). unfortunately, i put it as the only song on a playlist. it’s been playing on a loop for 3 days. i used to like this song. sometimes i would even watch csi: miami if only to hear the theme song and also to see that sexy mexican fella who’s friends with that irish fella. i even saw the who live at the kingdome in seattle in 1982. they played this song and i did some mushies. i had a great time.
now i wish to walk again. not so i don’t die in this bathroom, not so that i can go see my grandkids again, but so that i can hunt pete townshend down and murder him with my own hands, somehow finding the strength to rip apart an organ and smash it on his head, hands, and feet over and over.
i don’t know where he lives. i assume in outer space, what with all the drugs he took (you can’t see, but i just used my little remaining strength to high-five myself). but in all seriousness, i would guess england. i don’t know how i would find a way to rip an organ apart. i suppose i would have to spend a year or so preparing by lifting weights and doing boxing lessons, like that italian fella from that movie rocky. then i would probably have to find a few organs to practice ripping them apart. i wouldn’t want to embarrass myself in front of pete by not being able to rip an organ apart with brute strength in order to crush him with it. then i would sell my apple 2 computer to a young idiot, pool together my tiny social security checks, stop buying food for a month, and then buy a plane ticket on delta airlines to england in order to find this pete townshend.
but, alas, i will not. i will not do any of this.
i quit drinking toilet water 24 hours ago. it’s time for me to let go. i can feel myself getting weak from the dehydration. i wish i could spend my remaining hours thinking about my grandkids and my 2 out of 3 kids of my own i still like. but i can’t hear my own thoughts over this goddamn song. so here i am, dying angry. goodbye, cruel world. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
sent from my iPad, oh wait maybe should i email someone? get…ting…weak…can’t…type…any…more……………….kjadfiqwpoeijfaklsjfkl;jsksaj