I had the laptop open on my lap. The guy was supposed to be here in five minutes. You know? The drug dealer? But he was always late. My leg was fucked up from getting shot, again, and I’d been taking some Oxycontin to deal with it, because, honestly I’m not that good with pain. Another good way I had found to deal with pain was jerking off. It at least distracted me, and I was probably gonna do it anyways. I had had a lot of free time lately. I was trying to get it done before the guy showed up, and I figured it would be no problem. He’s always late.
I was having fantastic luck today. I was really stumbling on some gems. I pushed my laptop down to me knees to make room for my erection, pulling down my jeans, pulling down my underpants. I was so hard. The porn was great. I got greedy. I was subconsciously delaying my cum, I didn’t want it to end. Stroking in bursts, letting it rest, starting again, and stopping right before I was about to burst. I looked at the clock. Noon already… no big deal. “He’s always late,” I said out loud.
I grabbed some tissues, to clean the ensuing mess. I was almost there. Okay, no more fooling around, let’s get this over with. I was so close. So Close.
BAM. The door flew open, and through it came a wiry dachshund wearing a “visibly stinky” Rastafarian hat, pointing a gun at my chest. My gun was across the room. No time. He didn’t say a word. He cocked the gun. I burst. He shoots two shots into my chest. Blackness.
My eyes never opened per-say, but in a sudden everything was no longer dark, and was in fact, painfully bright. My consciousness floated effortlessly in clouds of light, and specks of luminescence floated around it. From what must have been miles away I could see rumbling forward towards me a giant creature, and he rumbled towards me in this same way for what must have been a half hour or more. I had no ability to move. I could just be, And as I was I watched, and as it got closer I could make out more and more of it. More of him. He stood fifty feet high, a dog person, in the standard way. The human body covered in short dog fur. The face of a German Shepard. But his penis. His penis and balls were enormous, and not just because he was enormous. They were in fact greatly out of proportion with the rest of his gigantic body. Being in the presence of these gave me an immediate and profound fear and respect for him. It did not need to be spoken, I recognized this being as god, and if not the god of all men, he was most certainly my god.
“Joey” the great gleaming dog God spoke, “I love you. All ways remember this.”
I had no ability to speak, but I wished to call out. To tell him I loved him too. To cry from my eyes and to clap with my hands. To jump up and down and praise him. I was full of love with no where to put it, and it flowed out of my essence, visible to the human eye. The great God saw this and he shed one tear, and began to grow a great erection. It got larger and larger, stiffer and stiffer, straighter and straighter. It rose to just barely in front of me and many feet above me. At it’s apex it was exactly straight, the length of a yacht, just wider then a California redwood. It was cut clean, in the Jewish fashion, and had a pink color that was decidedly Caucasian. It began to pulse red, and the veins began to swell. His eyes closed and he moaned a low guttural moan that shock me so I thought the world around me would fall away. His pink tongue hung from his mouth and his giant human hand grasped the shaft. As if on command the great and holy penis violently ejaculated a deluge of silver sparkling ejaculate at, into, and past my essence. It continued this way for a hundred hours and at the end of it all started again but in reverse. The god’s cum was retracing back into his body at a thousand times the violent speed as before. I came with it and as I entered the hole I traveled through his body, into his veins and with the blood up into his brain, where I witnessed every great miracle a thousand times over for a million eternities.
I woke up. I was laying on a cold metal bed. There were a tampon sticking from each wound in my chest. A lovely, large and busty cat woman stood over me, completely nude. I had not noticed my arms and legs were shackled to the metal bed.
“I’ll be back” She said, “I have to take a shit.”
She didn’t have to tell me what was going on. I knew all too well. My neighbor had stolen my half dead body from my apartment, brought me back to life, and had made me a sexual slave. From what I knew of her, I was surprised it hadn’t happened early. I had after all got the apartment on a discount, as there were not locks on the doors. I decided next time, I would splurge on a door lock.
Ergghhh I heard. Ergghhhh. The woman, whose name I had never bothered to learn, was shitting in a litter box in the corner, ass facing me. I closed my eyes, and envisioned my great god. I thought of the infinite eternities I spent in his paradise, and I said a prayer to him. “Please god, let this woman kill me dead. Return me to your paradise”
I opened my eyes to see her above me. I looked down, my penis had become erect in prayer. “Well, what are you looking at?” I coughed, “Let’s fuck baby.” Hey, she we’rent god, but it’d do.