TGIGF! Thank God It’s Good Friday!
That means this Sunday we will celebrate Christ’s ressurrection and prepare for the Easter Bunny to hide eggs around our homes and yards, so that we may seek them out, discover the treasures hidden within, and prosper from the tiny ovals that remind us of fertility and spring.
However, for women, this holiday is so much more. It is the time of year we can celebrate our unfertilized ovarian eggs by dressing them up in cute outfits! Who needs a good man to give you perfect children when there’s cute clothing to buy?! Here are five must-have outfits for YOUR little Easter eggs!
1. Pink Bunny
Everyone will fawn like a baby deer over this adorable, fuzzy pink costume! Your egg will be warm and comfrotable, not to mention festive! Perfect for eggs you hope would be girls.
2. Handsome Man
With these complementary pastel hues and a smart collar, you can show off a dignified and refined egg at any Easter gathering. The bowtie adds an extra touch of class! Excellent choice for unfertilized eggs that might be boys.
3. Playful Spirit
Easter is very much about reacquainting oneself with the natural world – so let your egg run around in the green grass wearing these fun overalls! Perfect for any egg, this outfit is unisex and fits loosely for maximum mobility. The carrot detail on the front adds an effortless touch of whimsy.
4. Imaginative Dyes
Try approaching your egg’s outfit from a more artistic standpoint by following the masters and giving your egg a magical makeover, like this Starry Night ensemble! All the fun of decorating eggs, without the same old pinks and blues reminding you of gender possibilities.
5. Dream Guy
Decorate your egg to resemble your ideal baby daddy. Choose significant, telling features like bright blue eyes and chisled jaw lines. Even if this man is already married to one of the world’s most famous actresses, has adopted and fathered like, 10 kids with her? Still decorate your damn egg because life is long and sometimes when you want something bad enough Brad Pitt knocks on your door, right???? Then he’s like, “Angie is nothing! You are everything!” Then you’re like, “Hurry I only have so many eggs left you idiot!!!!!!” You might sound desperate and sad but your egg will look hot.